Spam in the Thirties.

A little longer blog today to make up for a couple of missed days.

Many people assume that SPAM is a modern phenomenon spawned by the Internet, but my extensive research has discovered that it was in full flight, in a slightly different format, in the 1930s.

While reading a February 1930 copy of "Astounding Stories of Super-Science", as one does, I found 88 Spam advertisements at the rear of the magazine. (incidentally, this copy was on sale a couple of weeks after my birth, and I remember it quite well, and can vouch for its authenticity.) Most offers concentrated on Health and Financial improvement, just as today's unbelievable, irresistible messages do.

I must admit that I was seriously tempted to try some of the products, but money was a little tight and so I missed some wonderful opportunities. A few that caught my eye were :
* Santa Fe Watch Co. Railroad Accuracy and Beauty Unsurpassed. Now in service on Practically every railroad in the United States and in every branch of the Army and Naval Service.

* (I'm not quite sure what this was, but I had to have it !) Dont Stop Tobacco, without injurious effects. Baco-cure gives the necessary assistance. Use tobacco while you take it. Has aided hundreds. Complete $3 treatment guaranteed to get results or money refunded.

Sport & A Thousand Thrills : Ride a Harley-Davidson. Eager power under instant control -- Speeds that leaves the car parades behind -- Lightly responds to throttle and brakes. All yours at a low cost in a Harley-Davidson "45", the wonderful Twin at an affordable price -- comfortable low-slung saddle. Ask about Pay-As-You-Ride Plan.

* French Love Drops . An enchanting exotic perfume of irresistible charm, clinging for hours like lovers loath to part. Full size bottle, 98c prepaid.

* New Scientific Wonder ---- "X-Ray Curio" ---- Big Fun
Boys, you apparently see thru Clothes, Wood, Stones and any object. See Bones in Flesh. Also Free Package radio picture films, takes pictures without a camera. You'll like 'em. ( 1 pkg with each 25c order).

*Radium is restoring Health to thousands. No Medicine, Drugs or Dieting. Just a light, small, comfortable Radio-active Pad worn on the back during the day and over the stomach at night.

Correct Your Nose. Thousands have used the Anita Nose Adapter to improve their appearance. Shapes flesh and cartilage of the nose, safely, painlessly while you sleep. Doctors approved.

* Old Gold Cigarettes are a kindness to your throat. In raw, damp or cold weather, change to Old Gold. Its naturally good tobaccos are smooth and kind to your throat.

(And, finally, probably the best sell of the month).
New --- Just a Twist of the Wrist.
Women universally detest the old-style can opener. Yet in every home in the land cans are being opened with it, often several times a day. Imagine how thankfully they welcome this new method --- the automatic way of doing the most distasteful job. With the Speedo can opener method you can just put the can in the machine, turn the handle and almost instantly the job is done. You undoubtedly know what a dangerous job it is to open cans with the old-fashioned can opener. You have to hack your way along slowly -- ripping a jagged furrow along the edge. Next thing you know, the opener slips. Good Night ! You've torn a hole in your finger. As often as not it will become infected and stay sore for a long time. Perhaps even your Life will be endangered from blood poisoning. You may be able to get the can open without cutting yourself. But there's still the fact to consider that the ragged edge of the tin left around the top makes it impossible to pour out all the food. The Speedo holds the can --- opens it --- flips up the lid so you can grab it --- and gives you back the can without spilling a drop, and without any rough edges to snag your fingers. It's so easy, even a 10 year old child can do it in perfect safety ! No wonder women -- and men too -- simply go wild over it. No wonder Speedo salesmen often sell to every home in a block and make $10 an hour.

There you are ! How could any modern Spamster compete with that salesmanship ?