Words can sometimes be recalcitrant creatures. You think you have them trained to say what you want them to say, then you find rebels who decide to convey an entirely different message. We heap praise on the bright little words who have developed the capacity to have differing meanings or even stand for completely different things. But the rogues are always lurking, and it seems that one of the favourite people they try to catch unawares is the Headline Writer. Examples of their misbehaviour are constantly being collected, some of which can be proved to be true and probably just as many which surely must be apocryphal. All provoke some interesting pictures.
These misinterpreted headlines have been called Crash Blossoms or Garden Paths. Here are some chosen examples that caused me to react with a gentle smile and sometimes with a surprised chuckle.
McDONALD'S FRIES THE HOLY GRAIL FOR FARMERS
BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLANDS
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
RED TAPE HOLDS UP BRIDGE
'GATOR ATTACKS PUZZLE EXPERTS
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
SMOKING RISKIER THAN THOUGHT
LAWMEN FROM MEXICO BARBECUE GUESTS
POLICE CANT STOP GAMBLING
ANTIQUE STRIPPER TO DISPLAY WARES IN STORE
POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN AUSTRALIA
GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT SHOOTS A HOLE IN ONE
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE.
It seems that Proof-readers, Spellcheck, or disgrunted readers cannot rein in these lurking monsters. Thank Goodness !
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